Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Wanted: Boyfriend

***masaya akong single pero minsan nakakasawang ipagduldulan ka sa mga taong sadyang hindi mo type, kung pwede lang to ipalagay sa jobstreet ginawa ko na! --joke lang! pero seriously, pinost ko to dahil wala lang akong magawa at bilang malapit ng magValentines Day***

Position: Boyfriend

Requirements:
> He must be Single and not in a relationship (how can I forget this!! wahaha; kahit fling lang ayoko!), straight guy! not straight gay or not-so-straight-guy or metrosexual (isang metro na lang bading na!)
> Age should be 24 - 28 years old
> He should be taller than me (and I'm 5'2" hmm.. siguro pwede na 5'6")
> Pleasing Personality (meaning: presentable, malinis tinginan, at mabango)
> He should be patient (as in super duper patient)
> He should have a sense of humor 
> He should be able to accept my shortcomings and weaknesses and all the ugly things about me (and I think it follows naman if he really likes you, he'll be able to accepts me for who I am)
> He should own a car **joke! but if ever he owns one better LOL**
> He should be accepted/approved by my family and friends

Compensation: My Heart!  Unconditional Love

Benefits:
> You'll be invited in our company's family day (that will make you my dependent )
> Free passes in Party Pilipinas (LOL!)--JK! but if you really want to!
> Hugs and Kisses
> You'll be given FREE trainings like stress management, anger management, time management **you will learn it from our relationship! You will have a very CHANGELING life, ask my friends
> Health benefits: You will have your personal nurse *ehem* when you get sick or if you get hospitalized
> You can have free desserts **I can cook/make desserts naman so no worries**

Contract Term: Probationary for 6 months 
> In your 5th month, you will be evaluated. Your regularization will depend on the result of your performance evaluation. Note that there will be no compensation increase. **sagad na yun**
> If you commit the following you will be TERMINATED immediately without due process: a.) Infidelity and  b.) Theft.
> Resignation is allowed but there should be 30 days notice (To allow me to look for a replacement). You can resign through submitting your resignation letter (3-pager letter, back-to-back) personally. I don't accept urgent resignation, not following the procedure will not be given recommendations.
> There are no early retirement, thus no retirement pay.
> There is also no SEPARATION Pay.

If you are interested in the position, just PM me your curriculum vitae with four character references (no friends or relatives). Also, kindly prepare your Medical records with Family History. NBI, Police and Barangay clearances AND EX Clearances (you can get this from your EX/Exes, if applicable). Additional: Please prepare your bank statements, certificate of employment. Executive Check-up is also required (AIDS, STD, TB) You will also undergo a drug test.

If shirtless-ted este shortlisted, you will undergo a panel interview.

***JUST FOR FUN LANG TO! PERO PWEDE NINYO DING SERYOSOHIN! WAHAHAHAH AS IF NAMAN DI BA?!**
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32 comments:

  1. Rose DetecioJanuary 25, 2011 at 5:02 AM

    Oh my... ^_^ ... Hoping you'll find him... soooooooooooo SOON... >>> ♫♫♫

    ReplyDelete
  2. ♫ K~TiN ♫January 25, 2011 at 5:03 AM

    like

    ReplyDelete
  3. Neziele San EstebanJanuary 25, 2011 at 5:05 AM

    @rose: ipa-advertise ko na kaya to sa jobstreet?! WAHAHAHA

    @kitin: i like also!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rose DetecioJanuary 25, 2011 at 5:12 AM

    teka neish may nakalimutan ka... he must be single >>> hahaha...

    ReplyDelete
  5. adorina laroyaJanuary 25, 2011 at 5:16 AM

    super duper like!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Neziele San EstebanJanuary 25, 2011 at 5:24 AM

    @rose: ay shet! oo nga pala noh! wait wait! iedit ko

    ReplyDelete
  7. Neziele San EstebanJanuary 25, 2011 at 5:25 AM

    @ms. doreen: :))))))

    ReplyDelete
  8. danica josephine atogJanuary 25, 2011 at 5:37 AM

    Ang cute. :) sobrang ganda. lalo na yung benifits. whehehe. ^^

    ReplyDelete
  9. Erica Angela *Bear*January 25, 2011 at 5:53 AM

    love it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. edith joaquinJanuary 25, 2011 at 9:13 AM

    Beks, kasama ng NBI, police at baranggay clearance, dapat nipe-present din ang bank statements at employment certificates. Bah, sa lagay kapag nag-date kayo, ikaw pa gagastos???

    ReplyDelete
  11. Yumi SagaraJanuary 25, 2011 at 1:45 PM

    wala bang kontrata ito? para may breach of contract pag sakali. :p
    dagdag ko lang sa nilagay ni EJ, dapat may psycho-neuro test din. aba! baka may saltik yan kahit gaano pa kaguwapo o kayaman o ka-sweet. nakakapeke din 'yun, ah! hahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  12. ivy claire oledanJanuary 25, 2011 at 5:38 PM

    dapat pasado sa panel interview:D..
    o sino gusto maging panelist?

    ReplyDelete
  13. danica josephine atogJanuary 25, 2011 at 7:11 PM

    Aliw.. haha. ang kulit. ^^

    ReplyDelete
  14. danica josephine atogJanuary 25, 2011 at 7:12 PM

    Aliw! .. haha. ang cute. ^^ haha. oo nga naman. :))

    ReplyDelete
  15. edith joaquinJanuary 25, 2011 at 8:14 PM

    AKO!!! Panelist! *kasa ng USP match*

    ReplyDelete
  16. adorina laroyaJanuary 26, 2011 at 1:55 AM

    uhm... kelangan din ba ng screening para sa STD? anobayan? hehehe!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Neziele San EstebanJanuary 26, 2011 at 4:05 AM

    oh my gulay! ang dami ko pa palang kulang! hhahahahah!

    >bank statements - check
    >Employment Certificate - check
    >Psychological Tests - check

    @ms.doreen: kasama na yun ng medical dapat niya, and drug test na din pala. executive check-up pala ang dapat niyang gawin.

    ReplyDelete
  18. carla giopaoloJanuary 26, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    sama rin ako sa panel. haha. heto pala yung sinabi mo. hinanap ko pa talaga. i like. ayus na ayus. pede itong gamitin sa nobela, neish. hehehe

    ReplyDelete
  19. celine vicenteJanuary 26, 2011 at 11:25 PM

    haha..astig! i Like..pwedeng pwede...papasa na po talaga to sa jobstreet :)

    sana mahanap mo na po siya para happy na po kayo :D ingats po always and stay in love :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. pot antalanJanuary 27, 2011 at 12:20 AM

    haha.. why not coconut!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Christine OportoJanuary 27, 2011 at 2:51 AM

    wow...wanted talaga ang ganito...:)

    ReplyDelete
  22. ivy claire oledanJanuary 27, 2011 at 7:12 PM

    ayan may dalawa ng panelist..
    sus..may papasa kaya?
    eh sa qualifications pa lang, literal na WANTED talga to..

    ReplyDelete
  23. Neziele San EstebanJanuary 28, 2011 at 5:37 AM

    @ivy: i know right! mananatiling wanted na lang to sa dami ng requirements! LOL!

    @ms.carla: hmmmm.. pwede mas maganda pag may mga nakaline-up ng applications, dun magandang gawan ng kwento! :D

    @celine: I WISH! ;) thanks celine!

    @pot: mamigay din ba ako ng fliers sa kalye?

    @leah: tama!

    ReplyDelete
  24. mary anne manloloJanuary 28, 2011 at 7:38 PM

    epic post haha

    ReplyDelete
  25. cj jaysonJanuary 30, 2011 at 11:47 PM

    @nez: hanap kita gusto mo?

    ReplyDelete
  26. Neziele San EstebanJanuary 31, 2011 at 1:22 AM

    @cj: wahahhaa! pasubmit ng resume ah! irereview ko muna! :))))

    ReplyDelete
  27. cj jaysonJanuary 31, 2011 at 4:22 AM

    papa-headhunting ko muna sya :) then saka ko bgay personal resume nya hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  28. ♣ diane ♣ nerie graceJanuary 31, 2011 at 7:10 PM

    wahahahaha..
    ang cute ateh neish!
    sana nga ay may mahanap kang ganitong hombre.. :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Neziele San EstebanFebruary 1, 2011 at 4:48 AM

    aasahan ko yan ah!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Neziele San EstebanFebruary 1, 2011 at 4:49 AM

    naku, goodluck!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Neziele San EstebanOctober 22, 2011 at 8:12 AM

    gosh! kelan ko lang to pinost, nakakatawa lang kasi masyadong sakto, nakakatakot!

    ReplyDelete
  32. ♣ diane ♣ nerie graceOctober 24, 2011 at 10:09 AM

    hahahaha..
    positive thinking mdm pres..
    he's a gift from HIM.. ;)

    ReplyDelete

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